Because when a good enough reason for it comes around, the heart moves before anything else.
[ he taps the table ]
... I don't know if anyone would've actually voted for me. But I think... I would've been more upset with myself if I didn't offer, given the options in front of us.
Being separated from one you care for is never easy. And seeing someone face that separation despite trying to help them avoid it... that cannot be easy, either.
...my heart skipped a beat when we first met. I didn't realize it just then, but I think that should have been my first clue.
[she looks down into her glass of rice wine.]
But... I wanted to be around him. I found myself missing him, when I could not see him. I found myself excited to join social events that I otherwise would have no interest in, just as soon as I heard that he was there and that there might be a chance for us to meet.
When I really realized that I loved him, though... it was when I would imagine my future. Before, I always imagined it in the abstract. Someday, I would meet a man and marry him; I would have a husband, and with that husband, I would start a family. But then my imaginings became more specific. it was not just the idea of a husband I imagined, it was him. It was not just any child I imagined carrying; it was his child.
To want so badly for him to be a part of my future... what else could it be if not love?
[ he listens.... and yes, he does think of how this ends. he thinks about how this man ended up making waner a concubine, and how yves doesn't approve.
but it's still sweet. so sweet. his expressions as someone who loves love so dearly, and he'll reach to take her hand just so that he can hold onto it. to be able to get that much closer to even a piece of her warmth ]
... I see. Thank you for sharing part of your love with me.
I do hope... that everything can work out for you both, when you return.
[so sweet it is maybe a little saccharine. but she will let yves hold her hand and give him a gentle squeeze back, even as her face falls.]
...I hope that as well. [her other hand comes up to rest over her heart.] I love him, but I do not know... how much more of it I can take, if it remains the same.
When I realized I had fallen in love, I did not ever think that love could hurt.
[ he smiles softly at that. he knows how much love and loving others can hurt, when it is all he does. even though he does not know the level of betrayal that waner does.
he probably wouldn't be strong enough to walk away. ]
... it's alright to choose yourself. I think he should've been choosing you, too. After all you've given.
Even if I hope it doesn't come to that. It'd be nice if he came to his senses.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...how cruel, that yves will not be able to take another photo like this with him.]
Have you had any success so far, or...?
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Hmm... A little. Though nothing really beats having your best friend tell you everything's going to be okay.
So I guess I have to figure out how to move forward on my own.
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It is admirable of you to insist upon moving forward, though. I know others who would have given up.
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Well.
I want to be very clear that I almost didn't, but the reason I offered today was not because I want to die.
[ HE DOESN'T WANT TO TAKE PRAISE WHERE HE DOESN'T DESERVE IT EITHER THO ]
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sighs deeply.]
Honestly. Whatever your reason was, why are there so many self-sacrificial people here...?
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[ he taps the table ]
... I don't know if anyone would've actually voted for me. But I think... I would've been more upset with myself if I didn't offer, given the options in front of us.
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[...]
Would you have been content with it if a majority had cast their vote for you, though?
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[ he answers without hesitation ]
I don't offer up my life recklessly, despite what people might think. I do know what a life is worth.
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[she looks down at her drink.]
Which is why you never would have recived the votes, I think.
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... and I think that's very sweet of everyone. It does warm my heart.
I'm just... saddened that Anders will still have to miss the person that he adores most.
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[she looks down at her hands.]
Being separated from one you care for is never easy. And seeing someone face that separation despite trying to help them avoid it... that cannot be easy, either.
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yves nods... ]
... well, that's the kind of love I wish I could experience. I think people are right to scold me but...
I admire it nonetheless.
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[although honestly the relationship between hawke and anders did not seem particularly healthy to her but like, what does she know]
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... yeah. Maybe.
[ but he doesn't sound convinced ]
How did you know, Waner? That you love your husband?
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[she looks down into her glass of rice wine.]
But... I wanted to be around him. I found myself missing him, when I could not see him. I found myself excited to join social events that I otherwise would have no interest in, just as soon as I heard that he was there and that there might be a chance for us to meet.
When I really realized that I loved him, though... it was when I would imagine my future. Before, I always imagined it in the abstract. Someday, I would meet a man and marry him; I would have a husband, and with that husband, I would start a family. But then my imaginings became more specific. it was not just the idea of a husband I imagined, it was him. It was not just any child I imagined carrying; it was his child.
To want so badly for him to be a part of my future... what else could it be if not love?
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but it's still sweet. so sweet. his expressions as someone who loves love so dearly, and he'll reach to take her hand just so that he can hold onto it. to be able to get that much closer to even a piece of her warmth ]
... I see. Thank you for sharing part of your love with me.
I do hope... that everything can work out for you both, when you return.
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...I hope that as well. [her other hand comes up to rest over her heart.] I love him, but I do not know... how much more of it I can take, if it remains the same.
When I realized I had fallen in love, I did not ever think that love could hurt.
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he probably wouldn't be strong enough to walk away. ]
... it's alright to choose yourself. I think he should've been choosing you, too. After all you've given.
Even if I hope it doesn't come to that. It'd be nice if he came to his senses.
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[she keeps her gaze low.]
Perhaps, if I become the sort of person who could be redeemed, I will have become the sort of person that he would fight for to make his wife.
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He should have fought for you already. That's not on you, that's him.
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...anyway. That is how I knew that I loved him. [...] Have you asked many people that sort of question? What sort of answers do you usually hear?
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Most people here are single... So I'm waiting to watch love bloom...
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... but I've seen it sweep in during truly hopeless situations. There is always room for love.
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