He didn't marry her, but he did eventually add me to the family register. Not that it did much - I was still known as the daughter of his concubine.
[thanks a lot, jiuqing!!!]
...maybe he would have married her eventually. But my sister couldn't leave well enough alone. She came to the banquet my father threw to celebrate adding me to the register with... someone she must have hired to lie for her, claiming that he was my mother's lover, and that I was not actually my father's daughter. That turned my father against my mother completely.
[as for what happened after that - well, another memory will explain it. (cw: domestic violence.)]
[ yeah i was going to add it myself for this tag anyway lol ]
I was half-ghost, before. I could go back and forth between human and ghost as I wanted. I could've just never transformed back into a human and that would've worked too, I guess.
But the human side was dragging me down. It became unbearable. So I ripped it out and killed it.
she does flinch, when he's murdering danny. because it's not the same as what happened between her and neverah, but it's similar enough - the overkill, really. the unrelenting assault, piece by piece, when really just a few decisive blows would have ended it. but that would have been too quick for brimstone, and it was too quick for neverah in the throes of the affliction.
but although waner flinches, she doesn't look away, either.
("waner, run!" her mother had advised, at the first sign of the danger her father posed being directed at her. she had internalized that. running is what she's always done in the face of danger, whether physically or not - she'd run from neverah. she'd tried to distance herself from other dangerous situations with words. but never once had it worked.
her mother's advice won't help here. so although this memory of brimstone's frightens her, she doesn't run.)
instead, she chokes out -]
...he tried to throw you away.
[how lonely that must have been.
(and how like the people she knows, discarding others as soon as they serve no further use to them.)]
...so you did to him what he was planning to do to you.
[it is perhaps an uncharitable explanation for it. she remembers the ... well, frankly nicer version of him, helping her down from the cage when she first woke up here. that version of him likely would not have torn him apart in the same way.
(this isn't what i wanted, danny had cried out. and maybe it wasn't, but what had he expected to happen?)]
That man who suggested it - he must have known, even if he hadn't...
[ shakes his head ] No, he didn't. He genuinely thought he was helping--or at least, making it more bearable. He didn't really know which would be the functional one, though, the ghost or the human. I'm not sure he cared to tell the difference.
Not that it mattered, in the end. [ (linkin park voice) ]
[something about it really doesn't sit right with her. waner is a person who has done awful things with the full knowledge of what she was getting into; framing people and setting up situations in which they'll die is not something she's shied away from. but human experimentation is just sort of...]
Well. What happened seems unfair. I do not know if that is quite the right word, but - they played with fire, and they got burned. You shouldn't have had to be the one to suffer because of what they did.
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[thanks a lot, jiuqing!!!]
...maybe he would have married her eventually. But my sister couldn't leave well enough alone. She came to the banquet my father threw to celebrate adding me to the register with... someone she must have hired to lie for her, claiming that he was my mother's lover, and that I was not actually my father's daughter. That turned my father against my mother completely.
[as for what happened after that - well, another memory will explain it. (cw: domestic violence.)]
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This is why I just killed everyone. I didn't have the patience to keep up with all the charades anymore.
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[she's so mad about it.
anyway give me dan mems.]
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it does distract her from tantruming about her terrible luck with men, though.]
...how long ago was that? Before you ended up here, I mean.
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...I will say it again, then: it is no small wonder that you were so distraught to not be able to use your powers when we first arrived.
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he barks out a laugh ]
At least here, I can use some of them again. But, yes. I haven't been that weak and human in over a decade.
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Stop saying human like it's that bad. I'm human.
[and she's starting to feel a little insulted.]
...but I can see how it would be very frustrating, for someone used to being something more.
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There was nothing left for me in being human anyway.
cw suicide mention i guess...?
You had the choice...?
cw suicide mention
I was half-ghost, before. I could go back and forth between human and ghost as I wanted. I could've just never transformed back into a human and that would've worked too, I guess.
But the human side was dragging me down. It became unbearable. So I ripped it out and killed it.
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[she's so confused. trying to understand, but confused.]
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thankfully, the memories talk for him. ]
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she does flinch, when he's murdering danny. because it's not the same as what happened between her and neverah, but it's similar enough - the overkill, really. the unrelenting assault, piece by piece, when really just a few decisive blows would have ended it. but that would have been too quick for brimstone, and it was too quick for neverah in the throes of the affliction.
but although waner flinches, she doesn't look away, either.
("waner, run!" her mother had advised, at the first sign of the danger her father posed being directed at her. she had internalized that. running is what she's always done in the face of danger, whether physically or not - she'd run from neverah. she'd tried to distance herself from other dangerous situations with words. but never once had it worked.
her mother's advice won't help here. so although this memory of brimstone's frightens her, she doesn't run.)
instead, she chokes out -]
...he tried to throw you away.
[how lonely that must have been.
(and how like the people she knows, discarding others as soon as they serve no further use to them.)]
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...he did.
But in the end, I was the one who got rid of him.
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[it is perhaps an uncharitable explanation for it. she remembers the ... well, frankly nicer version of him, helping her down from the cage when she first woke up here. that version of him likely would not have torn him apart in the same way.
(this isn't what i wanted, danny had cried out. and maybe it wasn't, but what had he expected to happen?)]
That man who suggested it - he must have known, even if he hadn't...
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[ shakes his head ] No, he didn't. He genuinely thought he was helping--or at least, making it more bearable. He didn't really know which would be the functional one, though, the ghost or the human. I'm not sure he cared to tell the difference.
Not that it mattered, in the end. [ (linkin park voice) ]
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[something about it really doesn't sit right with her. waner is a person who has done awful things with the full knowledge of what she was getting into; framing people and setting up situations in which they'll die is not something she's shied away from. but human experimentation is just sort of...]
Well. What happened seems unfair. I do not know if that is quite the right word, but - they played with fire, and they got burned. You shouldn't have had to be the one to suffer because of what they did.
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[because it didnot seem like it from the memory. or from how he's acted here.]
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...no. But making sure they couldn't be satisfied either...that's as close as I could get.
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...that's really what you'll do after going back?
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